Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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