Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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