im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
one might say we're banned from that church
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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