yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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