Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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