im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
