He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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