yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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