What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
