I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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