he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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