My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
