Buhtt sex?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
