Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
