So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
