I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
