That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
