He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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