Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize