OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
