just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
