i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
