But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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