Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
