You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
