If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
