What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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