What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
