It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
