So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
