Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I love having hate sex.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
third nipple confirmed
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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