I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
