It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
