The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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