U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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