Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
