Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
