we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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