I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
