you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Couch. On fire.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
