I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
