Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
