Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
