Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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