i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
