There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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