whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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