If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
