mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
