you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My balls are so social today.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
